.best is always better than good.

28 August 2009. it already 2 months i am being a student AGAIN. and in this late night, with my smile on face, im counting the memories i had there. thinking if this is really what i want. thinking if this is the best from the 'better' that i had before. and the answer will always be yes.

yeah. it was only 2 months, and i supposedly dun have the right to judge the things that still new to me. but always u have your own right to speak up what u have in mind. right?

u're crying when u'd been sent to the place that very new to u, plus without no one u can hold there. yeah. and me too..the weird feeling u have is there. i know that i need to be a kind of girl who always have a smile on my face, THERE. ah! i remember aina, a friend who was also in a group of mine in an orientation week. "ko jangan la garang sangat." she says with laugh. and the words came to my mind when people see me with the unsatified face. "okeh, i have to smile."

yeah. i actualy dunno what will be in the future when i chose THIS last two months. i even have no idea that the intake i was offered this scholarship (u r study with the regard of allowance, so what could u doubt with the word of 'allowance'?), was a special, actually very special intake. that u'r absolutely will be sent to the rural area. u can't choose, whether dalam pulau atau dalam utan..huaaaaaaaaa!

prefer to called it rezeki, i always keep in my mind: just do..is it 'dont think just do'? haha..no no no..i have to think. n i had think about it deeply. this is what i want, and that is why i am here. yeah, i dun wan to be sent to pedalaman at first (being honest), but then cross in my mind a simple question. "siapa yg akan pergi sana, mendidik anak2 kecil pedalaman, if all of us answered it no if asked to be there?" alahai, ayat mcm mulia je epal ni. im not seeing the p3. im not seeing that RM1500 that to be get monthly. im just having a sense of one who sing this :

amanah yang diberi..
kami tak persiakan..
apa yang kami janji..
tunai tetap kami tunaikan.

i always be thankful to GOD for giving me the amanah. amin..

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epalejau : baru dua bulan. ada sepuloh bulan lagi. macam nak meroyan je rasa. well, tanak tipu. itu hakikat setiap kali epal bergelar seorang pelajar. maaaak!